Are we Ugly Singaporeans?

This morning, I got up really early. My wife who was up early too to get my daughter ready for school told me that the Ikea sale is on, and for "Friends of Ikea", we get to have free breakfast starting from 7.30am.

Thrilled by the idea of "free" breakfast and the prospect of spending time with my wife, we were soon quickly making our way to the Ikea at Tampines. By the time we arrived, the crowd was thin and people were only beginning to arrive. Without having to wait in line, we got our free coffee, an apple and a cinnamon roll each and made our way to the table and started on our breakfast.

Then, I overheard a conversation. Someone said in a rather cynical and almost mocking manner, "look at all these Singaporeans, got free food only they come and bring the whole family... Singaporeans." It started me thinking...

By now, Singaporeans would have heard about this phrase "Ugly Singaporeans" and perhaps used the phrase on our fellow countrymen a number of times. Unbeknown to many of us, probably the same phrase has been used on us, by others. Usually the circumstances where the phrase is used include: people forming/ joining long queues to get a good deal, free drinks/ food attracting many people to get their hands on them, people on MRT not giving their seats to the elderly/ pregnant ladies, etc; people not giving way to other drivers who wishes to switch lanes...While I personally do not condone such behavior and attitudes, I question whether such stereotypical labeling of the Singapore society and people is justified.

Take this morning experience at Ikea for example. Is it only "ugly Singaporeans" who would turn up when there is free food? I do not think so and I also think there is nothing wrong doing so. At least I think Singaporeans appreciate good value when they see one. In fact, I will feel extremely sorry for Singaporeans when they see a good deal, do not know it is a good deal and hence not avail themselves. Does turning up at Ikea for free breakfast make us "ugly Singaporeans?" I think not.

Even when we see the set of bad behavior by some Singaporeans listed above, is it justified to lavishly use the label "ugly Singaporeans" for the whole society? In my many travel overseas and having lived in the US for 3 years, I have seen similar behavior but I have never heard or heard so consistently people say..."Ugly Americans", "Ugly British", "Ugly Chinese" as we do in Singapore.

Labels when used consistently can conjure a false image of society and people. In psychology, we know that when a person for example is consistently labelled as stupid will after some time believe that his mental capacity is limited and adverse affect his development. I believe the same can be said at the societal level. An eagle will soar like a real eagle when she believes she is one, otherwise she will bump around like a chicken and never realise her full potential.

By now, I believe there are already other labels of Singaporeans that are already deeply ingrained... remember "Kia Su" (afraid to lose) ? Are we "Ugly Singaporeans" and "Kia Su"?

I implore all of us to stop using undesirable labels on ourselves. In every society, there will be black sheep (us included) but we must not brand/ label the whole society because of a few black sheep. Address the behavior, make the improvements and move on. Let us not be too hard on ourselves.

We are not "Ugly Singaporean" but like all human beings, we do fail sometimes.