To succeed in negotiation, we need to hold what we want with an open palm...
One of my favourite quote reminds me of this "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours, if it does not, it never was". This quote is often depicted with an eagle soaring in the background, with looks of victory. How true!
In my personal life, I have found this concept to be true. At times we need to lose so that we can win. Think about the last time when you really want your child to get down and do her homework right at the very moment that you desire. What you will get is resistance and at times defiance that will bring both of you down a downward spiral. I have that during those times that I have been successful, I told my daughter that I do not want to force her but trust that she will do the right thing... the next thing I found her starting on her homework and doing it with more commitment. You can think of other examples right?!
I have found this to be even more applicable in professional settings. In procurement, the threat of walking of walking away often brings about a different set of behavior and of course prices. However, more subtley, remember the time that you took ownership of a project and held dearly to the outcome? You find there are those who would come to you and openly do the opposite of what is expected of them. Of course, if you are their boss, you can simply order them to do the right thing. Sometimes when that is not meant to be, you will find that the more eager you are to get them to cooperate so as to achieve the outcome, the worse is their behavior. I have found that when we let go and decide that it is "ok to fail" together, the other party will wise up and cooperate.
Our lives and fate are often more intertwinned than we realised it to be. Much better to be helpful and think of a broader good than to think narrowly and only decide to win for today. Today, I need you. Tomorrow you need me. Together we can achieve more than what we could individually, the concept of 1 + 1 >> 2.
Treat each other with respect and believe the best of people. Most people are good and want to do good. In healthcare, the "do-good" concept is even more evident but often misunderstood. Doing good does not just come from a pair of healing hands and a caring touch. The folks working in the background are just as important but are often taken for granted. However, we do share a common destiny. When the time comes for negotiation, let go...
One of my favourite quote reminds me of this "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours, if it does not, it never was". This quote is often depicted with an eagle soaring in the background, with looks of victory. How true!
In my personal life, I have found this concept to be true. At times we need to lose so that we can win. Think about the last time when you really want your child to get down and do her homework right at the very moment that you desire. What you will get is resistance and at times defiance that will bring both of you down a downward spiral. I have that during those times that I have been successful, I told my daughter that I do not want to force her but trust that she will do the right thing... the next thing I found her starting on her homework and doing it with more commitment. You can think of other examples right?!
I have found this to be even more applicable in professional settings. In procurement, the threat of walking of walking away often brings about a different set of behavior and of course prices. However, more subtley, remember the time that you took ownership of a project and held dearly to the outcome? You find there are those who would come to you and openly do the opposite of what is expected of them. Of course, if you are their boss, you can simply order them to do the right thing. Sometimes when that is not meant to be, you will find that the more eager you are to get them to cooperate so as to achieve the outcome, the worse is their behavior. I have found that when we let go and decide that it is "ok to fail" together, the other party will wise up and cooperate.
Our lives and fate are often more intertwinned than we realised it to be. Much better to be helpful and think of a broader good than to think narrowly and only decide to win for today. Today, I need you. Tomorrow you need me. Together we can achieve more than what we could individually, the concept of 1 + 1 >> 2.
Treat each other with respect and believe the best of people. Most people are good and want to do good. In healthcare, the "do-good" concept is even more evident but often misunderstood. Doing good does not just come from a pair of healing hands and a caring touch. The folks working in the background are just as important but are often taken for granted. However, we do share a common destiny. When the time comes for negotiation, let go...
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