Strong when we are weak...

This week, faith and trust took a beating.  It is in my nature to be trusting and believe the best in people as the default mode. Most times, this has been the right approach.  I have seen people blossom right before my eyes as I did so, the rewards unimaginable and satisfying!

However, my domestic helper (maid) who has been with my household for the last 3 years betrayed that trust a few days ago.  Many of us might say, no problem, move on - she is just a maid.  True, she is just a maid but she saw my boy grow up for the last 3 years and actually did her job well.  My kids are quite fond of her, my parents have grown to trust her and she is a welcome help to my family.

Last saturday, when we returned from our trip from Hainan (she went on trip with us), I received a call for her from Indonesia.  I called her to the phone - she took some time as she was helping to unpack and clean, but after she had spoken for about only 15 secs, she dropped the phone and broke down crying. I asked her what was wrong and amidst her tears, she told me that her husband had died in a bus accident in Indonesia and her son who was traveling with her hubby was in hospital.  I called my wife and she comforted my maid and held her hands to give her strength.  We told our maid that we would do everything within our means to help her.  I went on the Internet, checked out the earliest flight back to Jarkata (turned out to be SQ and not Tiger Airways) and with her agreement booked that SQ flight for her to go back in time to be with her family.  My kids were at the airport on Sunday to see her home - there was tears but then she had to be back with her family.

To cut the long story short, all this was all a hoax!  The husband did not die and the son is well.  In fact, when I called her home in Indonesia and asked her family member "how was her husband?", her husband came mistakenly to the phone and spoke to me. While I was disappointed and felt betrayed, my wife was devastated this has turned up to be one of the biggest hoax. She could have told us that she wanted to go home and we would have still let her.  Why did she lie?

Suddenly left without a domestic help and with my wife, parents and kids taken ill, it was really hard for the whole family.  Naturally, I chipped in doing the bathing of the kids, preparing their milk, packing the bags before we go out, making the beds, folding the clothes, cleaning up the vomit, etc etc etc.  I do not begrudge doing these tasks, in fact I think I do them quite well.  But, with everything that went on, the priority was keeping the peace at home.

Faith and trust in people took a beating.  I was mentally tired out. At times I thought to myself, I should be less trusting and perhaps even be "nasty" but realises deep down that to do so would be wrong.  Even so, I was not able to really rise beyond what I had experienced - the betrayal and lie.

I was on facebook this evening, when I spotted one of my friend Josephine Xu posting a Youtube video of Whitney Houston singing her new song "I look to you".  Whitney was my favourite singer until she was lost to drugs.  The song was beautiful and brought me to remember again that when we are weak - as I was, we can "look up" and draw strength.  I listened to this song 3 times and at the last time, my eldest daughter stepped into my room and I shared the song with lyrics with her.  As I listened to the song with her, I know I have the answer to the question that she asked me in the afternoon, "how should I feel towards auntie? I know she did not do a nice thing but she did take care of us..."

I am no longer disappointed, I am no longer angry with my maid.  In doing so, I have experienced rest and closure.  My faith is back and I can be more trusting again.  I Look to You...

Here are the lyrics of the song "I look to you" so that you can enjoy as well

As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
After giving it my all
I’m lost without a cause
After giving it my all

Winter’s storm has come
And darkened my sun
After all that I’ve been through
Who on earth can I turn to

I look to you
I look to you

After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song
I look to you

About to lose my breathe
There’s no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door
www.musicloversgroup.com
And every road that I’ve taken
Lead my regret
And I don’t know if I’m going to make it
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you
I look to you

And when my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song
I look to you

My levees are broken
My walls have come
Tumbling down on me
The rain is falling
Defeat is calling
I need you to set me free
Take me far away from the battle
I need you
Shine on me

I look to you
I look to you

After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song
I look to you
I look to you
I look to you