Dirty Eat, Dirty Big

My wife needs to read this!

This NY Times article basically says that a little dirt every now and then will help spur the development of a healthy immune system in babies/ kids.

Parents these days are so protective of their children, keeping them clean, wiping their sweat, freaking out when the kids drop their food and then putting into their mouths. The irony is that kids seem to fall sick more frequently compared to the good old days when our parents are less picky about absolute cleanliness.

The old hokkien saying is correct "Dirty eat, Dirty Big"!

Can we as a society cope with more relaxed visitation hours at hospitals?

Hospitals struggle daily to manage visitation hours. Relatives and friends of patients in general do not seem to mind the stipulated hours. This is not only causing immense stress to staff but more importantly adversely affecting the rest of patients.

There are very good reasons why visitation hours at hospitals are enforced - patients need rest for their recovery.

There are also very good reasons why visitations should be allowed as well. Evidence suggest that patients recover better when social support is available through the presence of loved ones and are cheered up in their recovery process while in a very stressful environment of the hospital. The CEO of Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital in Boston had a post recently where he advocated that hospitals should consider being more friendly for ICU visitation and had a team going to see how it may be done.

In fact, one public hospital in Singapore has recently decided to extend their evening visitation hours by one hour to end at 9pm instead of the usual 8pm. The question is - should we follow suit? This was discussed recently in the hospital and we have decided to stick to the current visitation hours that end at 8pm because we believe that if we were to extend the hours to 9pm, by the time visitors cleared out of the hospital, it would be 11pm - way too late for some patients.

There are always 2 camps on the issue of whether hospitals enforce visitation hours strictly. One camp is with the hospital - patients need rest and hence the hours should be enforced strictly. The other camp is that patients need visitors but visitors have other commitments and should be allowed to visit whenever they want.

The question is: as a society do we have the grace to ensure patient's restfulness if hospitals were to relax visitation hours. To do so, it means to take turns to be by the patients bedside in small groups so that the place is not too crowded and noisy. It means to limit the duration of each visitation. To exercise control on the behavior of children so that they do not spoil the peace of patients rest. To self regulate when the crowd and noise level at patient bedside is close to threshold. To gracefully accept it when patients decline visitors?

I hope at some point the answer will be a YES.

Funny Obama cartoon...

We cannot give what we don't have...

Only the blessed can bless, the joyful be happy, the rich can give... the healthy can donate their kidneys.

We can give only from a position of abundance and not lack. We can't give what we don't have or have enough of.

I have seen many frustrated people trying to give what they don't have. We can't serve when we have not served (treat) ourselves sufficiently. We need to take time for ourselves, to develop ourselves, to keep ourselves fit, to fulfill ourselves, to bless ourselves, to humour ourselves, to understand ourselves, to pamper ourselves, to like ourselves, to love ourselves. When we do so, we will be in a position of abundance to give time to others, to develop others, to give energy to serve others, to bless others, to fulfill others, to humour others, to understand others, to pamper others, to like and to love others!

To those who behave badly sometimes, know that you may need time for yourself and know that others are hurt when you behave like that. In any case, i will bless you because only the blessed can bless. Happy Lunar New Year everyone.

Will you offer your kidney?

End stage kidney disease is a rising problem, many people die while waiting for a suitable kidney donor.

The wait for a kidney for transplant is long. A possibility is for one's loved ones to donate their kidney. Even though it is a major surgery to remove a kidney from a suitable donor, the procedure is now relatively safe. I witnessed the act of a patient sister donating her kidney to her brother who would otherwise need to be on the dialysis machine for life. It was such a gesture of love.

What does it take for one to make such a decision to be a living donor? Is love enough?

Would you do it?

Say A, mean B and do C

Last week, I played a game of nodding when you mean "No" and moving your head from side to side when you mean "Yes". It was hard. It was hard because it is not easy to not mean what you say. However, I realised that as I played the game over 3 consecutive days, I got better and better - better and better not meaning what I say?

The sad truth is, we can train our hearts and minds for better or for worst.

It is not difficult at all to find examples of even shining individuals who say A but mean B and do C. What a disappointment each time when it happens!

It reminds me of the phrase "Do as I say and not do as I do".

Can we will this for ourselves that we do not go down this path?

Random Mail on Optimism or Pessimism...

I had to hear this message for myself today...

"Optimist or Pessimist: Your Choice

"Whether you know of him or not, we all owe a debt of gratitude to the research into optimism and pessimism made by Dr. Martin Seligman, from the University of Pennsylvania. A past president of the American Psychological Association, Marty is the author of numerous books on the subjects of optimism and pessimism and how they affect the way we look at our world.

How do you find out if you are an optimist or pessimist? Ask yourself the question: How do I think when bad things happen to me? A pessimist lets the bad thing contaminate everything in their life: home, work, relationships. We call it "globalizing."

An optimist, on the other hand, isolates the bad. "It's just this one piece that's not so good, everything else is OK.

"The other thing a pessimist does is "eternalize" the bad thing. "It's awful now, and it's going to be this way forever. Nothing is ever going to go right again."

An optimist puts a time-frame on it. "Yes, it's going to be painful for a while, but I'll get through it. Things will change for the better."

Pessimists have a tendency to take accountability for the entire mess they are in, whether it was all their fault or not, while optimists take accountability for what they caused, and realize that there were other factors involved.

Now, how do you think when good things happen? A pessimist calls it a one-time thing, believes it won't last, and minimizes their part in the success. The optimist? An optimist lets the good things color everything they do, believes that it will last forever, and takes credit for their part in the success - "I caused it."

I think you are starting to see a pattern. The pessimist has an external locus of control, and pretty much views the world as a victim. The pessimist mindset is one of, "It's all about me."

The optimist, on the other hand, has an internal locus of control, takes control of the situation at hand, and sets about making better things happen.

Optimist or Pessimist? Again, it's all about that internal picture you hold in your mind.

by Lou Tice The Pacific Institute www.thepacificinstitute.com

Speak, Behave, Think...Believe

Our beliefs have a strong influence on what we think, behave and speak.

Hence, our beliefs are extremely important in shaping our outlook, our state of mind and consequently our happiness and health.

To build strong positive beliefs often require the reverse.

We need to start by "Speaking". We all engage in self-talk and what we say to ourselves and to our situation is very important.

Next, "Behave" as if we hold the belief. Getting into action brings on a sense of reality of what is possible. All of us are encourage through sight and exhibiting a change of behavior is key.

Our "Thinking" about a belief will change progressively as we speak and behave accordingly.

And sometimes, even without knowing it, we believe in a new belief.

Do we really have a choice?

This evening over dinner, we started talking about Steve Jobs. There was curiousity about the "homonal imbalance" that he has been experiencing that is "robbing his body of protein" making him razor thin.

The conclusion was that he has a relapse of pancreatic cancer and his earlier surgery probably had a role in his "homonal imbalance".

The conversation then went on to cancer. A remark came that "all these cancer is all due to stress. Stress weakens the immune system and the body loses the ability to rid itself of malignant cells which eventually leads to cancer." It was obvious that the table was quiet for a while pondering over the statement until I added, "...No Choice, stress is unavoidable...".

Do we really have a choice regarding stress in our lives? Or is it unavoidable?

The philosophical argument is all of us have a choice in anything and everything. Steve Jobs chose to be CEO of APPLE and that probably stressed him. He could choose not to be CEO of APPLE and forgo that stress - really? He probably wants badly and passionately to be CEO of APPLE and not being CEO of APPLE will stress him out, probably much so during the time that when he was ousted by the APPLE board. If Steve Jobs did not choose to be CEO of APPLE, the world will also miss out on the marvelous products that they produce.

Th reality is that sometimes our passion will cause stress to ourselves. We want to do well in what we are passionate about and can underestimate how this can inflict the level of stress on ourselves.. What is can probably control is the degree of our stress. The more we learn to "let go", the lower our stress. There is a time and season for everything. Something that cannot be done in a season can be easily done in the next season. Don't be too hard on ourselves. We can control our stress but cannot probably totally eliminate it because of the human-ness in us.

I guess we do have a choice on how stress will affect us but have lesser control over whether we can totally eliminate stress or not. What do you think?

Payment for kidney donation? I like this argument

The Straits Time carried an article "Approach Kidney Donations Logically" by Lee Wei Ling on 14 Jan 2009.

I must say that this has been the most logical discourse so far. This issue will always remain controversial but when we can transcend the philosophical angle as Dr Lee asserted, we take one step closer to addressing the plight of a patient suffering from end stage kidney disease.

Let's do the right thing. Donors who are willing to donate their organ should be looked after and they should have the right to choose how they want to be looked after. Sufficiently compensating them is a viable approach.

What will APPLE be like without Steve Jobs?

I have to admit I have often been seduced by the beauty of APPLE products.

I gave in many times. Now, I have a lime green iPod Shuffle, a black 30G iPod, a white first gen Nano. Over the course of the last 2 years, I was owner to the first gen iPhone and then the new iPhone 3G.

Their products, right down to the packaging and design is planned to the last detail.

I have noticed that since Steve Jobs returned to APPLE that Apple products have taken on a new shin (spelling?) - or is this just perception? Listening to him at MacWorld doing his magic and his passion describing new products and software makes his products much more appealing.

Recently, Steve Jobs issued an open letter about his health. He will no longer do his stuff at Macworld and his marketing wonk has taken over the product presentations. I watched the Quicktime video and then i flipped the pages and viewed the APPLE products. I get the sense that they are not as sexy anymore. They no longer exude the attractiveness that Steve Jobs has managed to imbue to his own.

To say the least, I no longer lust after APPLE products. This may not be a bad thing, I can save some money (I used to be willing to pay a premium for APPLE products).

Steve Jobs - please get better and put that shine back in my confidence of APPLE products!

Let's do the right thing

Let's do the right thing, and not just do things right.

Societal's expectations can cause us to be too politically correct. Doing the right thing may be frowned upon and makes us feel uncomfortable. Just doing things right, will get us out of trouble and stay out of the limelight. It becomes the comfortable option. We are tired, I don't want to fight...and soon the right things don't matter anymore!

Although, the judgement of what is "right" can sometimes be a function of whose perspectives/ lens we are using and the arguement can be tenuous. I argue that it should not be judged by how being right may be abused by others. Take the example of payment for donor in living donor kidney transplant. One can argue that this is not the right thing to do because it is subject to abuse of the poor and the vulnerable, but if in doing so if we deny one legitimate willing donor to save the life of one who needs it would be a sorry mistake indeed. Because plugging the "loopholes" may not be comprehensive, the easy way out is to "do things right" and stop this policy (I certainly hope not as the results of the latest public consultation of HOTA would attest to).

How many others situations can we think about that we have resorted to doing things right and not the right thing?

Growing up, I have always been intrigued by a popular pop song with the lyrics "Are you going back to the one you love, or are you going back to the one who loves you?"

Which is Right and are we going to do?

We can change the ending if we don't like it...

There are endings of many things, like life events, our health, relationship, careers etc, that we do not like. Often these becomes a major source of stress, which in turn have a negative effect on our physical and psychological health and produce a negative outlook of life. Without interventions, the downward spiral can spin out of control.

The Straits Time article in the Saturday 10 Jan 09 issue about how the extreme stress of jobs in high office such as the President of the US can cause a series of presidents over the years to age at twice the normal rate is just the tip of the iceberg. Not only does it affect Presidents and political office holders but each and everyone of us.

We need to proactively manage stresses in our lives, and often times we can try to change the endings of events. Afterall, the most popular chinese serial on Mediacorp Channel 8 for the last 15 years in Singapore, Little Nonya will screen a "better" ending tonight at 9:55pm after taking viewers' feedback that the original ending was "bad". This is unprecedented, but can happen.

Perhaps, this is a sign of things to come for us in the new year!

As expected Singapore Flyer GM resigns!

High profile The Singapore Flyer got stuck on Dec 23 2008. Till today it has not been allowed to resume normal operations.

I wrote in my Dec 24 2008 blog entry that the GM will have to resign to take responsibility for the incident in the culture that we have come to be familiar with.

I was right! The Straits Times carried a front page article today that the GM resigned. He gave 6 months notice but was told to pack his bag to leave immediately.

Hmmm...

That's my boy...

It is Zachary's 2nd day of school. He woke up at 6:30am this morning and looked forward to school. But when he got there, he just wanted to stick to the mother.

He cried hard when mama tried to leave him alone. Of course, the mama cried on the inside too!

Tomorrow will be his third day, we hope that he will cope better. Don't you think he is handsome in his uniform...like the father?!

First Day at School Jitters...for parents or for the child?

My youngest, Zachary who is approaching 3 years will start school tomorrow. I think he will be in nursery class at Yio Chu kang Chapel.

My wife and I laid out his uniform comprising a yellow T-shirt and a grey shorts, picturing in our mind how cute he will be in his school uniform. At the same time, we are concerned (as we are never "worried" :-)) that he may developed the jitters and cry for us. The school allows my wife to be with him in class for the first 3 days but we have decided (for now at least) that he will "let go" from day 1. We are quite confident that he will do well. His "performance" the last 2 weeks has been great. He has become more sociable and independent, taking the initiative at playground and gatherings to go up to other children to get them to play with him. We hope school will be seen by him to be an extension of play - and therefore better coped.

Maybe, he will not have the first day of school jitters afterall - it's just the parents who don't know better :-)

Tonight, at about 10pm, I went into the children's room to say a prayer for all 3 of them. When I finished, Zachary called out to me "Papa, pray for me" as he wanted a personal prayer. I found my way to him in the darkness of the room, prayed that he will find favour with his teacher, have good friends, have fun in school and there will be divine protection for him. He ended the prayer with a loud "amen"!

In and of ourselves, we plan and hope of the best. After the prayer, my heart is now settled that Zachary will do well for his first day in school.

Treatment Does Not Equal Care

The UK King Fund published a report "Seeing the Person in the Patient" in Nov 2008, a point of care review paper of the UK NHS healthcare system. This paper is worth a read by all healthcare professionals.

As our healthcare hospital and healthcare system grows in complexity and under pressure to see an increasing number of patients and cost pressures, significant progress in the treatment of diseases and the fact that patients are treated faster often does not translate into good patient care.

How patients are treated, not in the sense of what medical intervention is offered, but how they are cared for, how they are looked after can often become an issue.

Discussion about patient centred care in healthcare can be sensitive as it offends people. Every healthcare professional likes to think he or she is patient centred. "The basic notion for me is to see through the eyes of the patient and understand patient expectations, perception and experiences rather than just seeing through our professional eyes..." as quoted in the report.

The problem is when we avoid talking about patient Centred care as a means to avoid conflict, patient experience over time takes a hit.

Time for us to think and refocus on the Patient to frame the care that we provide. This is best summed up in a motto that I have come to be proud to be associated with "Patients. At the Heart of All We Do."

I will try the Standard Chartered Marathon this year...Is it a realistic goal?

I have been consistently running for the last 3 months on alternate days.

Starting this routine was tough both physically and psychologically. There were many times, I gave myself many excuses why I should give up but I am grateful I persisted. It must one of those mid-life crisis thing when one cross the 40 mark. Still I am not a great runner, I run casually but have noticed that I am now able to cover greater distances or the same distance at faster speeds. This is a real morale booster!

During the last 2 weeks, I had conversations with 2 colleagues and found out that they both completed the recent Standard Chartered Marathon. I was very inspired and found out that most people do not run the full 42km, they ran what they could and walked the rest of the way. But still to cover 42km is quite a feat!

So now I am thinking aloud to myself. If I stick to my running routine and take care to avoid injuries, I should be fit enough to cover the marathon in a casual run cum walk fashion. This would be a key milestone for me!

I am feeling confident today because I achieved a new personal running milestone - I covered twice my usual distance and felt great at the end of my run! What a fantastic way to start the new year.

I will remember to post my running tag when I complete my marathon this year. I think I can do it!

Happy New Year - 2009!

Just an entry to note 31 minutes into 2009 - after the countdown Singapore show!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!